Im really beyond depressed...?

hi, im 14 and im really depressed. these past years have been really hard for me. around 6th grade is when i started to lose all my friends. i dont know what i ever did wrong.. i was such a good friend its ridiculous. some how everyone in my grade hates me i mean everyone they all talk about me they think im a huge ***** i was a little mean like 2 two years ago but i really have changed no one believes me. i had people i talked to during the school year but they arent really my friends. i have one friend but she always bails on me. im always asking her to hang out but she always have so excuse. i was texting the guy i like for a while but he also always bails on hanging. i dont know what to do ive tried to be friends with everyone in my school. im so depressed so far i havent even left my house this summer and i dont think i will i want to move and change schools but my mom wont let me i wont be able to get into Catholic school cus i dont have good grades in fact i have to go to summer school. its not that im stupid i just cant seem to try. im going to 10 grade next year and suicide has been on my mind but i dont think i would ever kill myself sometimes i feel it would be easier dead i cant sleep at night im getting anxiety i have sleeping pills and pills for anxiety but they dont work. please help me im crying as i wright this i have officially hit a slump btw im a girl